orlando bloom day

it is seemingly orlando bloom day. know how you go online and run across an article and one thing leads to another and then suddenly you’re on wikipedia looking up some inane information on some obscure subject, then you run across the name ‘orlando’ or ‘bloom’ and you think, yeah what’s going on with orlando bloom. will he be in the hobbit film? were there even elves in the hobbit book? so you type in orlando bloom. and you see that in 2004 or 5 he made some obscure movie called haven about interracial love on the cayman islands that you missed.

mind you, aside from the lord of the rings trilogy and the pirates trilogoy, i have my doubts about orlando’s judgement. ‘kingdom of heaven’ was god awful. and i so took a pass on ‘elizabethtown’ and the ‘calcium kid.’

okay, so i digress. and so one thing leads to another and invariably, you end up on youtube. and you watch like 4 or 5 scenes from his self-produced film haven:

then of course you get caught up in the youtube thing. and somehow you end up on the japanese incarnation and ran across this commercial:

and when i see stars in japanese commericals, i can’t help but think of that trash film that everyone used to rave about, ‘lost in translation.’ i vehemently disliked that film when i saw it. i found it a bit racist. and other ists as well.

no matter. the long and the short of it is. orlando bloom cannot open a film. go to boxofficemojo and type in ‘the calcium kid’ or ‘elizabethtown’ or hell even ‘kingdom of heaven’ and ‘troya’ and see what numbers come up. but little girls seem to love him. i bet he makes a mint on posters. maybe he should put out a special limited edition t-shirt of his thumb print or an impression of his ass. he really should consider going blond again. but we give the boy a big thumbs up for trying to expand beyond the popcorn films. and i will say ‘black hawk down’ was an _excellent film. and his track recored is far better than that of the ‘b’ in brangelina.

Gala's Clickable Stars Orlando Bloom, Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp

love this page on Gala. celebritites are divided between a and b listers. at the moment orlando is on the a-list. today this picture of orlando bloom has been clicked 162 times. this month, its been clicked 15,848 times. conversely, duelling a-lister george clooney’s photo has only been clicked a mere 55 times today and only 3,957 times this month. johnny depp’s photo has been clicked a mere 94 times so far today and but 2,243 times this month. c-lister, tom cruise is fairing less well than clooney. today, his image has been clicked a mere 39 times and and merely 1968 times this month. if you look to the right of the tom cruise photo, you have the opportunity to chose whether tom should be considered an a-lister, b-lister, c-lister or d-lister. at the moment 46% of voters feel he should be d-listed. russell crowe, while making a bit of a comeback with the new ridley scott directed, American Gangster, is decisively wavering between the b and the c-list. the new film has upped his ante to a b-. at the moment, the round new zealander’s photo has been clicked merely 10 times today and only 717 times this month.

what's orlando bloom doing driving a toyota?

maybe he didn’t make so much from the lord of the rings trilogy. but i heard he made a mint from flucht der karibik. so what’s he doing driving a toyota?