Archive for the ‘tom cruise’ Category

cruise and lopez mtv awards

Monday, June 7th, 2010

here’s tom cruise performing with jennifer lopez at the mtv awards


there's no such thing as overexposure in the music industry but it sure exists in the film industry

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

here’s part 2.

so currently who are the most overexposed actors in hollywood? well, tom cruise and katie holmes were at the top of that list, but now it seems they’ve gone into hiding. or they’re careers have taken a u-turn of ben affleck proportions.

when tom cruise was with his boyhood publicist pat kingsley, she kept him on a tight leash and forbad journalists from asking him about his, um ‘religion.’ or so the story goes. his image was carefully managed. then he tossed his p.r. person under the bus and hired his sister, whose also a member of his, um ‘church.’ that’s when we got the image of tom cruise jumping on oprah’s couch declaring his ‘love’ for katie holmes as he did a michael jackson and found a ‘host’ –um , surrogate mother for his alien love child.

now this brings us to robert pattinson. can you not enter a supermarket or pass by a kiosk without seeing his fangs and uni-brow? this goes to show actors– be careful with those tween films. and prior to agreeing to be in an adaptation of a novel, do your frickin’ homework. tom cruise didn’t prior to bullying his way onto another vampire film, ‘interview with a vampire,’ and this most likely left lasting damage on his career.

but anne rice fans are far less intense than ‘twilight’ ones. perhaps because after 10 or 15 years of having read her books they had come to the realisation that well, vampires just don’t exist.

or perhaps this is due to the writing style. any tom dick or harry –or basically, tina, doreen or hermione can pick up a 500 page stephenie meyer novel and read it on a flight between london and berlin, except perhaps for dakota fanning. this in turn leads to perhaps a form of rabid fandome and screaming hormonal teens not seen since duran duran and wham (before george michael came out of the closet).

in part 3 we’ll discuss how to reverse overexposure without going MIA, which leads to underexposure of jared leto and colin farrell proportion –which is basically career ending. would this entail avoiding all publicity for your films except for junkets? should robert pattinson turn down the looming ‘vanity fair’ cover? should his publicist actively lobby for him to NOT be declared people’s ‘sexist man alive.’ should he avoid the teen choice awards and all comic book related conventions let alone the ‘twilight’ fan conventions and the upcoming ‘twilight’ cruise? we say pattinson should let someone else play edward cullen in the third ‘twilight’ film, ‘eclipse.’ like that’s ever gonna happen.

bella swan –we mean kristen stewart, is a tad overexposed too. but since she’s been acting since at least ‘panic room,’ and guys tend not to chase girls down the street seeking autographs and she hasn’t got big boobs (so the male contingency of the paparazzi aren’t interested), she’s probably okay for the moment.

tom cruise says only scientologist can help

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

well, that’s a bit of a misleading headline. but basically, a leaked video, which was pulled from youtube and has resurfaced on sky news as well as a longer version on the bbc and defamer, ‘being a scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it’s not like anyone else. as you drive you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one who can really healp.’

Gala's Clickable Stars Orlando Bloom, Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp

Thursday, November 29th, 2007

love this page on Gala. celebritites are divided between a and b listers. at the moment orlando is on the a-list. today this picture of orlando bloom has been clicked 162 times. this month, its been clicked 15,848 times. conversely, duelling a-lister george clooney’s photo has only been clicked a mere 55 times today and only 3,957 times this month. johnny depp’s photo has been clicked a mere 94 times so far today and but 2,243 times this month. c-lister, tom cruise is fairing less well than clooney. today, his image has been clicked a mere 39 times and and merely 1968 times this month. if you look to the right of the tom cruise photo, you have the opportunity to chose whether tom should be considered an a-lister, b-lister, c-lister or d-lister. at the moment 46% of voters feel he should be d-listed. russell crowe, while making a bit of a comeback with the new ridley scott directed, American Gangster, is decisively wavering between the b and the c-list. the new film has upped his ante to a b-. at the moment, the round new zealander’s photo has been clicked merely 10 times today and only 717 times this month.

lions for lambs lucky to pull in 5.5M this weekend

Sunday, November 11th, 2007

that’s dollars. and that’s according to fox news which quotes someone close to the film as saying something to the effect that meryl and bob can’t stand tom.

tom cruise used to be known as the last movie star. and maybe he still is. is this the end for him? probably not. this is an ensemble piece about a touchy subject directed by a geriatric guy. it’s a way adult film so no one below the age of 30 would be remotely interested in this film.

rendition rakes in a measley 10M

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

apparently wars focusing on the iraq war aren’t heating up the box office in the u.s. the latest round of films, featuring a-list stars, a-list directors and well known producers have been met with a collective yawn by american audiences. according to this report hollywood is essentially a casualty of the iraq war. rendition, starring reese witherspoon and jake gyllenhaal (aka witherhaal), has taken in but $10M while the paul haggis directed, ‘in the valley of elah’ has taken in a measley $7M. this weekend, ‘lions for lambs,’ starring tom cruise, robert redford, and meryl streep opens. we eagerly await the film that has an average C rating.

cruise's spokesperson denies he's building bunker against alien attack

Friday, October 5th, 2007

how’s that for a headline? the daily mail has more detailed information.

tom cruise impersonates clive owens

Thursday, July 19th, 2007

well, not really. but he kinda looks like him here. but in this photo tom cruise, the most famous member of the scientology cult, downs a german outift circa 1942 and trys to look forboding.

tomkat denied access to hugo boss party in berlin

Saturday, July 14th, 2007

tom cruise and his wife katie holmes aren’t having a lot of luck in berlin. berlin’s fashion week opened on friday and the couple had hoped to attend the hugo boss opening party. but as they were a bit on the late side and the party was at capacity, they weren’t let in.

berlin is quite famous for turning celebrities away. britney spears got the cold shoulder at a popular club a few years back.

florian henckel von donnersmarck sides with cruise?

Wednesday, July 4th, 2007

well, yesterday, he wrote a long op-ed piece in a german paper arguing why it’s okay for tom cruise to play a one-armed, one-eyed german solider in bryan singer’s world war 2 film, valkyrie. von donnersmarck essentially believes that germany has an image problem. well, like, yah. and that tom cruise playing the one positive character in the darkest periods of the country’s history is a good thing. somehow i don’t think superstar tom cruise could rehabilitate germany’s image. but while he’s filming in berlin, i hope he finds a nice spot for his <a href=””>scientology tent</a> and his e-machine.